After swimming for the first time this year I passed by a mirror and for the first time realized I look my age. I have few if any wrinkles but maybe it's the lack of hair on top of my head or my bloodshot pool water eyes but the man looking back at me looks almost 50. I don't feel this age. In fact, I've been exercising so much lately that I'm in about the best shape I my life. Not in 20 years have I been as fit. But, there is no denying that the face in the glass looking back at me is older.
It isn't just the face. My body hair is turning gray. The skin on my cheeks looks older. But more than anything, my outlook is older. I speak with younger people and feel the difference between 28 and 48. I realize that I'm old enough to have parented most of the people I interact with on a daily basis. Yesterday my son said that I'm from the 1970s and he's from 2013. It was funny but there is a ring of truth in it. Most of his life is ahead of him and most of mine is behind me. The realization of this is somewhat alarming but I'm ok with it.
With all of these thoughts, the biggest are these: will I have the time to do the things I want to do before my time is up and if I have the time, will I use it to do these things? I've wasted too much time already and let fear stop me from pursuing things. I no longer want to do this and hope I get a chance to make good on my skills and creativity.